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Thursday, January 05, 2006
heads up, folks!

this is the last time i'll post something here.

a lot of things (and thoughts and emotions) are attached here and i'd like them to stay here. {yeah, yeah. double meaning na kung double meaning. che!}

now, this is really where the story ends. BUT the madness and the journey will continue elsewhere, of course.

[CLICK AWAY HERE]


Posted at 07:32 pm by madkatcher
ouch! (1) bit me.  

Saturday, December 31, 2005
here's where the story ends (for 2005 and other things...)

aside from bidding 2005 adieu, thoughts of finally discarding UNNECESSARY baggages have played (and re-played) in my mind over the last few days. do i put a stop to all the emotional nonsense i let myself go through? and do i simply forego all the EB episodes I secretly enjoy?

well, i can. i just don't WANT to. yet. haha.

kasi naman, kapag wala na ang "emotional nonsense" at ang mga EB episodes ko, mawawala na rin ang fictional lovelife ko. now, where's the fun in that, then? at saka, i enjoy the mind games (i create). i know several of my friends agree with me on that. (a toast to that!)

and yes, this post should be for 2005 and all it stands for.

when the year started, i claimed it as my year. when i look back now, i'd say 2005 really did become mine. i was happier and more truthful to myself. i did most things because i wanted to and with no guilt. now, as for the "mr hyde episodes" i've had for numerous times this year, i know it's part of the transition i have to go through. after all, dr jekyll and mr hyde are one and the same. i just have to learn how to make them live together so i can become a better person. 

i'm also glad that my friends and i fared better this year. we're able to see each other more often than we did on 2004.  we knew that we have to take time to make it work. wow, relasyon! and we've been together for 10 years now.  woohoo.

i've had more time to think, scheme, brood, analyse and theorise this year because of my work. this year, i realised that my work is actually my part-time job, a mere distraction (though utterly necessary) and the rest of the things i do after office hours is what really matters. i've read more books, i've watched more things on cable, i've spent more time with my loved ones... man! it's clearly, THE LIFE. hehe.

as much as i loved this year and will remember it very fondly in the future, i know 2006 will also be better. feel ko lang.


Posted at 08:29 pm by madkatcher
go on & bite me.  

Tuesday, December 27, 2005
quoting a goddess

dara quoted at ricebowl journals

-----------------------

Marse!!!!!!!

Fabulous, ne? Ahahaha. Congrats. If only someone in particular would notice. Wa-ching! Remember: "Mortal sya."

----------------------

visit DARA's blog or check out RICE BOWL JOURNALS


Posted at 07:10 pm by madkatcher
go on & bite me.  

Monday, December 26, 2005
...always on the outside looking in... well, not for long!

the chunky far flung gallery in cubaothe first two times i've been there, it was closed. i should have memorised the note on the glass door: "OPEN ON TUESDAYS TO SATURDAYS" 

well, i was finally able to go there last friday. hurrah!!! (i was supposed to head straight home after staying at iks' place to fix her pc. and since she was in a  lamyerda mood, she didn't mind the detour at marikina shoe expo. hehehe)

i felt like a kid again. i ogled at every shelf, every boxed toy, everything! it was really heartbreaking because the merchandise there are expensive!!!!!

BUT... i found the ones I am willing to buy. there were several Hayao Miyazaki stuff and a couple of Nightmare Before Christmas trinkets that I'd like to acquire... oooohhhh... i bet the framed "spirited away" poster  they have is perfect on my bedroom walls. hmmmmmmm.... 

------------------

read about cubao x (that's what the artsy shops in marikina shoe expo's called)... they're worth checking out. promise.


Posted at 06:32 pm by madkatcher
go on & bite me.  

the madkatcher's mambo # 1

1.  What did you get for Christmas?  Anything musical? 

i'm the one who'll get myself 'anything musical'.

i'm bound to forget who gave me what this christmas, so i'll list them. here's what i got, so far (i know there's still more to come... hehehe):

caleb carr's "killing time" from my sis and ren, a fluffy pink pen from shiela (fabulous!!), a soccer ball stress ball and a chocolate from jeff & nini, a chinese calendar from alan, a sinamay-covered box from carl (it's where i'll keep my chocolate stash!), a small notebook from shirley, a red picture holder from gracie, a "K" keychain from le-anne, a parker pen from jules with my name on it (wow!!!), brownies from jace, chocolates from fatsi, chocolates from carlo, chocolates and candies and a jelly from rj and moz, a glass candleholder from julia, a kikay kit and a hair accessory from dara (chopstick ito with matching beads! bakla!), a bead-y phone tag from bing (na kinabit ni pancho. thanks, po.), a silver pic holder from pat with an ultra-kikay pouch and a turtle-shaped beaded pouch from pay... 


2.  Which of your favorite bands or artists do you think should record a Christmas album (or perhaps just a few songs)? 

i just want to hear rancid sing a christmas song... they don't have to record a christmas album (it would be weird if they did.. i dunno...)


3.  How much music did you buy in the past year?  Or if you download, how many songs do you think you downloaded?

confession time, folks. i bought 11 albums (uy, original naman sila) and downloaded more than a hundred songs... mabuhay! 

------------------------

the monday music mambo is from bdinsanity.


Posted at 05:43 pm by madkatcher
ouch! (1) bit me.  

Sunday, December 25, 2005
christmas gripes

i just can't help it. i have to let it out. what the hell happened to the tradition of christmas carolling, pinoy style?! i mean, i missed the whole thing, damn it!!!!!

there were no makeshift tambourines and drums this year. hell, i never even heard a decent "carolling" in the past 9 nights! okay, save for that one time a group of teens knocked on our neighbour's gate and sang a christmas song, that's the only carolling experience i had for this christmas season. they even had a guitar and although they sounded more like they're whining than singing, i liked it! i heard them sing a christmas song and it was great.

i miss hearing annoying kids running through our streets once it gets dark. you'll hear them screaming all at the same time, arguing about which house they should go to. the sunset was their cue to get their wire-and-bottle-caps tambourines and their coin-filled cans.

none of the kids who knocked on our gate this week sang a song. that's the most disappointing thing, really. they just knocked and yelled, "Mamamasko po!!!!!!" well, kids used to sing 3-5 christmas songs and they SING even if their lyrics were all screwed up!! you can tell they're enjoying it!

and are the kids getting materialistic now? i remember last year, instead of giving coins to every kid who carolled, i handed out treats. i should have known they didn't want them. my bad, it wasn't halloween. i just thought it would be nice. obviously, it wasn't. they had this look on their faces as if i were playing a nasty joke on them. some of them even snickered in front of me!! oooh, those brats!!!!

really now, what's going on with our kids??

===========================

well, i couldn't shake off the thought that the whole carolling thing has now become an excuse for some just to beg for money.  hnh! what better time to become a beggar than during this season, right?

i know christmas is more about giving. it somehow becomes entirely different when you hand someone the remaining bread on your dining table and they tell you they prefer you hand them cash (thank you!) and then they return the bread to you.

i'm flawed, i'm fully aware of that. i know christmas is about giving selflessly; it's just that a huge part of me don't want to be a willing instrument for other people to go on with their bullshit. what irks me the most is that they have the gall to use the holidays to extort money from other people.

and please, don't tell me i need to feel more love for other people. it's driving me nuts, right now. BUT on the lighter side, i did enjoy the celebration. i did.


Posted at 05:34 pm by madkatcher
ouch! (2) bit me.  

Wednesday, December 21, 2005
isip-isip o muni-muni

"what's your passion?"

buti na lang matagal ko nang kilala ko yung nagtanong nun. dahil kung hindi, natawa na ako nang malakas. absurd kasing makarinig ng mga seryosong tanong lalo na kung galing sa taong hindi mo naman kilala. wala lang. may pagka-prententious yung tanong. parang nagpapaka-deep. ewan ko sa iba, pero ganun ang tingin ko minsan. siguro, depende lang din yun sa nagtatanong. basta.

pero kahit hindi ako umimik o sumagot sa "what's-your-passion?" question nya, nag-iisip na ako nang mga sandaling iyon. mahirap atang sagutin ang tanong na hindi mo pa lubusang pinagtuunan ng oras mo. dahil seryoso ang tanong at personal, kelangan din ng seryosong sagot.  hindi naman kelangan malaman ng iba ang sagot, ang importante, ALAM KO ANG SAGOT.

at iyon ang problema. dahil ang sagot ay hindi pa malinaw. sadyang mailap din.

alam ko ang mga bagay na gusto kong gawin at ang mga bagay na nakapagpapasaya sa akin. sabi ni wancho, yun daw yung pag nagawa mo araw-araw, kahit mamatay ka na sa oras na 'yon, okay lang kasi "fulfilled" ka na.

hmm. eh, pa'no yun? okay lang sa akin na mamatay na ngayon. as in ngayon na ngayon na. ibig bang sabihin nito, ito na yung passion ko: ang mabuhay? pucha. ang corny naman. haha.


Posted at 10:00 am by madkatcher
go on & bite me.  

Saturday, December 17, 2005
cut the crap, kath!

you've got no excuse when you yourself know you've screwed things up. pfft.

factoid 1: i haven't been reading my friends' blogs as often as i used to. having a dial-up connection has not stopped me before; now, i've come up with a sorry excuse that i'm simply trying to miss everyone intentionally. [bad, kath!]

factoid 2: my entries are getting worse. the whole point of keeping a journal and chronicling my present thoughts, rants and what-have-you's is becoming vague to me. [i'm lazy, i know.]

factoid 3: the layout of this blog has been "under construction" for months now. i'm bored with it. 

i'd like to think that i've enjoyed this year too much that i haven't had the time to blog regularly. ha! it sucks to be reminded that in reality, i'm simply pissed off with our dial-up connection. i believe i've been patient long enough. now, where's the optic-fibre dsl, hans?!

============================

comment to self - 19dec2005

"OPTIC-FIBRE"... see?!!! it's ADENGA (a-den-jah) all over again... ahahaha.


Posted at 02:50 pm by madkatcher
ouch! (1) bit me.  

Monday, December 12, 2005
on misery, friends and goddesses emoting

They say misery loves company
We could start a company
And make misery, Frustrated Incorporated
I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to see

Put me out of my misery
I'd do it for you, Would you do it for me?
We will always be busy, making misery

We could build a factory, and make misery
We'll create the cure, we made the disease
Frustrated Incorporated, Frustrated Incorporated

I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to feel

Put me out of my misery
Suicide kings and drama queens
Forever after happily making misery

Did you satisfy your greed, get what you need
Was it only envy, so empty

Frustrated incorporated...

I'd do it for you, would you do it for me?

Soul Asylum's "Misery"

===========================================

Saturday night had a good cure for me sour mood, Capt'n: laughter. Aye, laughter with friends. Har-har-har.

I didn't keep track of the EB's we had that night. I lost count. I was having fun and was busy counselling Mr Not-So-Wallflower about his love problem. I was so amused at the whole situation, I didn't even bother to stop myself from laughing hysterically at him. Okay, it's not him that I was laughing at but the situation he's in. Liar! Anyway, we were both intoxicated to even care at all.

Different scenarios. Different cast of characters. Almost the same location.  Same bottomline: BEING STUCK. I told him that in due time, it'll be a lot easier to handle. Okay,  it might not have been the exact words I told him but it's something along that line and it's true.  What's your 7 years compared to my 10 years, Mr N-S-W? Ahahahahaha. 

I don't know if he remembered this, but I told him to stop asking why it's still her on his mind after all these years and despite all what happened to them. It's futile to ask WHY. I spent a good deal of time trying to find the answer but I eventually stopped asking. I got tired of it.

He said it sure feels like they're meant to be together. Umm. What else could be the reason why you can't get that person off your system if you're not the one for each other? Well, boohoo. Don't we all feel that way about the person we're obsessed with?

The hardest part to deal with is that WE ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. The answer was not vague nor missing. It's there right in front of us yet we keep our eyes closed, continually denying what we've known all along. Silence, un-replied messages, explicit statements of "Dati yun...." Ahahahahahahaha. 

Sabi nga ni Greg Behrendt, "He's just not that into you." Ahahahahaha. I just had to rub it in.


Posted at 08:43 am by madkatcher
go on & bite me.  

Saturday, December 10, 2005
no need to panic.

though jj retracted his resignation, he will be moving to another department by monday. 

and in a month or two, our team will be reduced to just three members. new people will replace the posts of those who will eventually leave the company but it'll never be the same. they have their own reasons for wanting such a major change in their lives. i won't press them for reasons. bidding them good luck and praying for their happiness are what i can give them.   so long, then.


Posted at 05:45 pm by madkatcher
go on & bite me.  

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shhh. i am meditating.
   

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